Dating in the digital age is no longer just about meeting someone, getting to know them, and seeing where things go. Thanks to TikTok, a new set of rules, labels, and expectations has emerged, fundamentally reshaping modern romance. From “situationships” to “delulu” dating mindsets, TikTok has created a shared language for dating experiences—one that influences how people view relationships, attraction, and emotional connection.
The platform’s viral trends offer both comedic relief and hard-hitting truths about modern dating culture. Some trends validate what people are already experiencing, while others shape new behaviors and expectations. Whether they’re healthy or toxic, these trends are influencing how people navigate love, commitment, and heartbreak.
Situationships: The New “Almost Relationship” Norm
One of the most defining dating trends of the TikTok era is the “situationship”—a label that describes an undefined, non-committed romantic connection. Unlike casual dating or official relationships, situationships exist in a gray area where both people are involved but without clear expectations or long-term commitment.
- No Labels, No Pressure? Many people embrace situationships because they provide intimacy without the obligations of a traditional relationship. They allow individuals to enjoy companionship without feeling tied down.
- The Emotional Cost While some enjoy the flexibility, situationships can also lead to frustration and insecurity. The lack of clarity often results in one person catching deeper feelings while the other remains emotionally detached.
TikTok has turned situationships into a widely recognized phenomenon, with creators sharing their experiences, frustrations, and even step-by-step guides on how to “escape” one. The trend has made it clear that while situationships offer short-term convenience, they often come with emotional confusion and heartbreak.
The ‘Delulu’ Dating Mindset: Manifesting Love or Just Fantasy?
TikTok has popularized the term “delulu” (short for delusional) to describe an exaggeratedly optimistic mindset in dating. The phrase is often used humorously to describe people who convince themselves that a romantic situation is going well—even when all signs point otherwise.
- Romanticizing the Bare Minimum Someone who is “delulu” might believe that a late-night text, a random compliment, or minor effort from a crush is a sign of something bigger.
- The Fine Line Between Confidence and Fantasy While being “delulu” can be fun and lighthearted, it can also be a defense mechanism against rejection. Some people use it as an excuse to ignore red flags and avoid facing the reality of a one-sided attraction.
TikTok encourages delulu behavior as a form of self-empowerment, with users posting about how they “manifest” relationships by refusing to acknowledge negative signs. While this mindset can boost confidence, it can also set people up for unnecessary emotional disappointment.
The ‘Bare Minimum Boyfriend’ vs. ‘High-Value Partner’ Debate
A major shift in dating expectations has come from TikTok conversations about what makes a relationship healthy and fulfilling. One viral trend exposed the “bare minimum boyfriend”—a partner who puts in minimal effort while their significant other overcompensates.
- Bare Minimum Standards – A partner who texts back, plans an occasional date, or simply acknowledges your feelings is not necessarily going above and beyond. They are meeting basic relationship standards.
- The ‘High-Value Partner’ Concept – In contrast, TikTok’s obsession with finding a “high-value partner” has encouraged people to set higher expectations in dating, focusing on mutual respect, emotional intelligence, and genuine effort.
While the conversation around these terms has helped many people recognize their worth, it has also led to hyper-analyzing relationships, where even minor imperfections are seen as dealbreakers. Some TikTok users go as far as creating “tests” to determine if their partner is truly high-value, potentially leading to unrealistic expectations.
Green Flags and ‘Icks’: The Rise of Hyper-Criticism in Dating
Dating in the TikTok era has introduced two key concepts that dictate attraction: green flags (positive traits in a partner) and icks (turnoffs, often based on small, sometimes irrational behaviors).
- Green Flags highlight positive behaviors that indicate emotional maturity, such as clear communication, consistency, and emotional intelligence. TikTok users often share lists of green flags that suggest a person is worth investing in.
- Icks, on the other hand, are trivial behaviors that suddenly make someone unattractive. Examples include the way someone eats, their texting habits, or even the way they tie their shoes.
While identifying relationship red flags is important, the obsession with finding icks has led some people to become hyper-critical, dismissing potential partners over superficial traits rather than focusing on emotional compatibility.
Love Bombing and Gaslighting
TikTok has played a significant role in educating people about manipulative relationship behaviors, making terms like love bombing, gaslighting, and trauma bonding widely recognized.
- Love Bombing – A tactic where someone overwhelms their partner with excessive affection, attention, and grand gestures in the early stages of a relationship to create emotional dependency.
- Gaslighting – A form of manipulation where someone makes their partner question their reality by denying events, shifting blame, or dismissing emotions.
- Trauma Bonding – A psychological attachment that forms in toxic relationships where cycles of affection and abuse create emotional dependency.
These terms, once used mainly by psychologists, are now mainstream, allowing people to recognize and avoid toxic dating patterns. However, some critics argue that TikTok’s widespread use of these terms has led to over-diagnosing normal relationship conflicts as abusive behaviors, sometimes making it harder to navigate everyday disagreements in a healthy way.
‘Soft Launching’ vs. ‘Hard Launching’
How and when to post about a relationship has become another TikTok-fueled discussion. The “soft launch” vs. “hard launch” debate highlights the pressure people feel to reveal their relationships in a strategic way.
- Soft Launch – Subtle hints of a new relationship, like posting a cropped photo of your partner’s hand or a blurry background shot.
- Hard Launch – A full, clear announcement of a relationship, usually with couple photos and tags.
TikTok has created an expectation that relationship announcements should be carefully curated events, reflecting not just personal happiness but also social media strategy. Some people even analyze the timing and framing of relationship posts to determine the seriousness of a couple’s commitment.
TikTok has undeniably changed the way people think about modern romance. It has helped normalize experiences like situationships, attachment issues, and emotional manipulation, giving people language to describe their dating struggles. At the same time, the platform has also contributed to hyper-analyzing relationships, setting unrealistic expectations, and promoting dating mindsets that may not always be healthy.
As viral trends continue to shape dating culture, it’s important to balance self-awareness with realistic relationship expectations. Whether you’re navigating a situationship, embracing a little “delulu” confidence, or simply trying to understand modern dating dynamics, TikTok’s influence is here to stay—whether for better or worse.
